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    13Feb, 2019
    Valentine’s nigh
    Love; a four letter word, simple to pronounce but yet hard to understand. 
When someone falls in love with someone or something they develop unfathomable passion towards the person or thing, it's an ecstatic feeling you may say.  It’s the month of love so they say and to be precise the week of Love simply because Valentine’s day is just around the corner.

    Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate romance and love.
    After doing a small background check i learnt some shocking revelations about the origin of Valentine’s Day.

    How did this day come to be?

    From Feb 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, and then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain. Sounds funny right? But the funniest part is that the women were naked and all the beating was in the name of making them fertile (well that’s what they believed). This is according to Noel Lenski, a historian at the University of Colorado in Boulder.
    The ancient Romans may also be responsible for the name of our modern-day of Love. Emperor Claudius II executed two men both named Valentine on Feb 14, different years in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day.

    Why celebrate this Day ?

    Valentine’s is all about loved ones,  young in love, newlyweds probably 3-4 years in marriage and those still in courtship among others. It’s all about being merry and getting surprise gifts. This is the time of the year when demand for flowers and chocolate shoots high and people in this line of business tend to make a fortune. Did you know that chocolate emits the same chemical into your body which is produced when you start falling in love? Now that’s reason enough to get your loved one a box of chocolates this Valentine’s.

    Single men and women out here do not feel abandoned. Don’t even think of posting that photo with the tagline “Self-love”. It’s a cynical and desperate move.

    Divorced, widows and widowers, who said YOU can’t celebrate Valentines? To me this a time we should show our love not only to the single most person you love but as well to others, the strangers, that street beggar on the corner of the street, the street urchins, that single mother with three kids who you always call during the weekends to come do your laundry ( i know most bachelors can relate to this).

    It would be much better if we viewed Valentine’s differently. How i wish we would use this week to show our Love to the less fortunate, the under-privileged, those that have been through hell, those that feel like there’s nothing to live for in this world.

    Sometimes it’s just important to be there for someone, you don’t have to say anything but your presence matters a lot. Makes them feel that they have a sense of belonging. That company only means a lot to someone.

    For once let’s forget about our daily hassle, the political temperature in our country, the color of our skin, the tribe, the religion and culture and embrace each other with Love.

    When was the last time you did something out of love? It’s the month of Love and it’s never too late. Let’s start with a simple act of changing our attitude. Let’s share the Love we have with others.

    By Madiba Muyonga

    What is your perception about Valentine’s Day ?

    Please comment below or contact us at [mail_crypt mail=” info@ivakale.consulting” text=”Ivakale.Consulting” js=”true”] or [mail_crypt mail=” https://ivakale.consulting/contact   ” text=”” js=”false”]

    31Jan, 2019
    Prayers

    Prayer is a divine fulfillment of the mind and soul, a gateway to communicate to God Himself….. What makes life worth living ? God, Science ? Honestly, life is a mirage in itself. I believe in existence of The most High, God.

    Why do human beings pray ? What time is appropriate ?

    Prayer does happen anywhere,everywhere you wish to have one and People pray for spiritual nourishment.

    Do prayers work ?

    Yes, prayers work efficiently.

    Does it specify who should pray ?

    No, it doesn’t. Anyone can pray regardless of their religious status/Faith.

    What is the difference between  a religious person and a spiritual person ?
    1. Religious persons are people who believes in religion/cultural, belief systems and worldviews that establishes symbols which relate humanity to spiritual and sometimes morality which are built on a spiritual foundation. The persons belong to a deity of their choice e.g Christianity, Islam, Buddhist etc
    2.  A spiritual person is someone who believes in something, however he/she doesn’t  realize the science behind it. They believe in an existence of a higher Being
    Why was i praying and my prayers were not answered ?

    God has Three answers, YES, WAIT and No. Mathew 26:42.

    Is it right to invoke the name of God ?

    I always find myself doing it, Exodus 20:7 prohibits using His name in Vain. Blasphemy is prohibited and anyone who does so will be held accountable.

    Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
    Prayers each day takes the baggage away…..
    What are the types of prayers ?

    We have these types  of prayers, namely;

    1. Thanksgiving prayers
    2. Contrition prayers
    3. Adoration prayers
    4. Petition prayers
    5. Spiritual war far prayers
    6. Corporate prayer
    7. Worship Prayers among others
    Are we restricted to a particular number of prayers ?

    No, you can pray as much as you’d like. Keep them short and precise.

    Our faith, is being tested in our day-to-day living. We trust in God and confide in  times of need, but do we ever stop and do the same when there is plenty ?

    This is not a matter of being a Christian/ Muslim…. It’s irrespective of one’s Faith. I believe every human has that urge to talk to their thoughts, in confidence and in trust that their wishes and wants would come into reality.

    Should we trust in Prayers?

    Yes ! We are sometimes wired to hold on to what is not entirely ours. We cling on things that tend to exhaust our minds, bodies and soul.

    As said earlier, a prayer has answers Yes, No, and Wait.

    A yes means that whatever you asked for will be availed without waiting in Vain .

    A no, is simply a no. No grants whatsoever. It sucks when a no comes as the definite answer, we need to let go. Even though it is hard. It is okay to feel extremely emotional when that one thing you ever wanted doesn’t get to you. Regardless of the prayers made. Trust and believe, it takes time but when your time comes, blissful.

    Wait, in my perception, you are yet ready to receive His answer. God is still preparing you well to finally answer your prayers. Trust the process.

    Sometimes, we feel dejected, lost, helpless and can’t have the capacity to change whatever we are going through at the moment. Prayer should be that greatest friend. The relief one feels after offloading a bucketful of prayers to God  is awesome, you should try it. In thoughts, pray, anywhere pray. These words move mountains.

    Have a read about prayers on these links below

    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+34%3A15&version=NIV
    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+18%3A13-14&version=NIV
    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+9%3A18&version=NIV
    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+5%3A3&version=NIV

     

    Do you have any thoughts to share on prayer ?

    Please feel free to contact us at [mail_crypt mail=” info@ivakale.consulting” text=”Ivakale.Consulting” js=”true”] or at https://ivakale.consulting/contact/

    26Jan, 2019
    Women In Technology

    Technology, is assumed to be far-fetched, when it comes to women.  According to statistics, women make  20% threshold in the STEM industry.  With the advancement in technology, we now gradually see changes whereby more women are interested in studying STEM subjects and in this case, Technology.  Having been in a class dominated by men, the journey wasn’t easy at all. Deriving motivation from Ada Lovelace, who was the first  computer programmer, the future for Women in technology is brighter. Women techies  are seeking to tackle what most of our male counterparts do.

    Growing work force

    In Kenya, its particular to note that the numbers are rising. To mention but a few,  Judith Owiga of Akirachix, Jamilla Abass of M-farm and Cate Mahigu among others, show how technology has been embraced largely by women. They do take up competitive posts, innovate and work hard to bring out the best of Technology to the world.  In that context, it is noticed that many tech companies are now more open to employ as many women as men due to the same deliverables being offered. With everything being digitized, there’s urgent need of work force, that’s where women come in.

    Competition

    At work places, women do compete for the little top positions that are available in Tech companies. How ironical is it to be asked what an RJ45 is, however the same  isn’t being asked to their male counterparts. Even with the state of affairs, some individuals tend to think that women hardly know anything about technology. It’s a disadvantage, more likely, when searching for job placements. It places women to work a little extra harder to prove they are knowledgeable.

    Sadly, Gender disparity  is still being  experienced by women in Tech. We need to believe in women and also give equal opportunities to deliver. I have met great women techies who are an inspiration. Encourage the young folk to venture into STEM subjects, that’s where the world is heading to.  Challenging oneself to achieve what is unachievable. Lets have more lady engineers, scientists, techies and the world will become a better global village.

     

     

    Kindly share your sentiments on this,

           * How many women are in your IT department ?

    * Do you know any self-made woman techie ?

     

    9Jan, 2019
    Away with the holiday innuendos

    Its January, most dreaded month of all the 12 months in a year. Happy New Year! 2019 it is. Anyone with resolutions? From our side, None. Choose to live each day as it comes!

    The holiday season just concluded, all the merry-making, all the fun, family, booze and nonetheless illicit affairs that have lasted a fortnight…GONE! Christmas holidays act as a relief to many people, however to most, if it were scrapped off, the better. The well off families go on holidays, second class citizens find their ways to their villages and the so not lucky are stuck in the city.

    Families gather on this most crucial time of the year, celebrating what is mostly known as “Birth of Christ”. Woe unto those guys who come from divided families, those that don’t value oneness. It can be one hell of a lonely holiday. The prodigal sons of our land, finally find their ways back home. To some, this moment acts as a way to brag to their village mates….. Car hire swinging hired car keys left to right. Wonders, Don’t car Keys fit in Pockets? Lol, we have none of our own, so probably we have no idea! Ha ha ha

    To some, this season is just one hell of agony. Fares are hiked, one can’t travel to the countryside with the little they earned. Saving is out of the question, It’s too little to spare some for the coming hey days. Reasons why you see many families, heading to Uhuru Park to pass time and maybe let the little ones enjoy themselves on that little budget they have. On the other hand, its expensive traveling with the whole family, shopping and also setting aside some money to ‘pay’ some long-lost relatives who think the City has money growing trees. Quite unfortunate!

    January, and its back to business. All the fancy foods suddenly disappear. It takes wisest people who bravely brace the jaws of this month. Some people, end up taking too many loans to survive. Eating greens 24/7 heck, its healthy but maintain the previous month’s diet of “Nyam-chom” (Grilled meat), oozing down with brown bottled liquor. It gets more hard having a balanced diet for some folks who had spent their entire year’s savings on “Enjoying” the holidays.

    The ever ignored Mama mboga suddenly becomes a person of interest. The unending greetings prepare her for the worst. “I need a loan for Sukuma, weka na nyanya mbili tutaonana baadaye”,coming from a person who hardly buys from her. Its not mockery but come to think of it, isn’t this really funny?

     

    Schools reopen, and for families with school going children get the drill. Requirements’ list… a whole whooping A4 listing, demands! As a person who literally forgot that tomorrow is a stone-throw away, starts gasping for breath. Others did plan earlier, then comes the government with the confusion. Is it right to plan ahead without fear of impromptu changes? Sometimes it pains being a Kenyan. History has it, it’s the beginning of the month that lending societies and apps  have a feast. So many people to cater for, at exorbitant interest rates that they ignore to look at.

    Overspending had them begging for leniency with the schools, landlord and most service providers. Must stop?

    This moment is only great to ones who had themselves all figured out eons ago. Setting aside some small monies in regard to holidays. Planning ahead to enjoy all the 12 months of the year, rocket science but its possible. Luckier are the people who have their leave days in January, at least it’s less expensive. Hotel rates are down, not congested and pretty much more privatized. Serious business.

    Feel free to share your thoughts on this……


    22Dec, 2018
    Depression ; Kenya’s Deadliest


    With the onset of many deaths linking it to Mental health, Depression is today’s main focus, the silent killer.  A question might linger, What is Mental Health ? Mental Health, according to WHO( World Health Organization) “is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his/her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his/her community”. In today’s society, many deaths are confirmed to be caused by mental illness. By definition, Mental illness is a condition which causes a serious disorder in a person’s behavior or thinking. The common types of mental illness including Depression are,

    • Anxiety disorder
    • Bipolar disorder
    • Dementia
    • Hyperactivity/ Attention deficit disorder
    • Schizophrenia
    • Autism
    • PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder)
    • Obsessive compulsive disorder
    What exactly is depression?

    Depression is a disorder which is characterized by one persistently feeling moody, losing interest in activities thus causing a significant impairment in life.

    Living in a country where mental health isn’t taken seriously, we see so many people drowning in it, without getting the urgent help they need. Depression kills. It kills so bad and it’s quite hard to know who among us is sinking.

    Being on social media, we see cries of help… each day! Whereby most of us tend to brush it off as, Attention seeking. Least we find out later that we are failing our friends, families, colleagues and children. A cry of help marks the final try of finding out, “who will eventually come forward to help me”. Depressed persons are more unlikely to know that they’re sick. It’s up to us, the people who surround them to notice and encourage them to seek help, and also lead them through the healing process.

    HOW?

    In one way or another, we can say, most of us are the perpetrators of letting depression happen. We live in a society where we are so oblivious of what the next person is feeling.  A society that literally doesn’t care what happens to a person. It’s a shame. We’re not available when needed, we don’t  listen, we shrug off cries of need,  we ignore the tale signs and later come on to regret when it’s seemingly, too late.

    On the other hand, depressed persons can wear masks in such a way that, it’s unnoticeable he/she is sick.  The once jovial,  life of the party, the most helpful person you knew, suddenly kills him/herself. Leaving behind a note explaining how empty they felt. You wonder why? It doesn’t choose. The void within, however how good you are… can lead one to do drastic decisions.  Mostly, it’s a way to seek help… but in a more open way. Based on a true story, on matters depression….. 13 reasons why on www.netflix.com, highlights how slowly, a 17-year-old student eventually killed herself, Depression!

    It’s serious, we need to work on matters Depression. The number of deaths witnessed only on social media, is unaccountable.  We need to change as a society. We need to come through and help eradicate depression within us. Needless to say, it has so many causes ranging from loss of a loved one, the inability to reach your goals, stressful life, family feuds, abuse, environment, substance abuse among others. Let’s help each other out, this disorder doesn’t choose, open up, talk to people… in one way or the other, sharing relieves .

    In case anyone knows a person undergoing depression/any mental health illness, below are some links to organizations that may be of help.

    1. http://www.kamilimentalhealth.org/
    2. http://www.africamentalhealthfoundation.org/
    3. https://www.facebook.com/pg/mental360kenya/about/?ref=page_internal
    4. http://www.befrienderskenya.org/about.html
    5. https://clmc.co.ke/
    6. https://www.amanicentre.org/

     

    Help create a safe haven for depressed people. Accommodate and encourage them that, soon, it shall come to pass. Help them  and the society at large, to conquer this illness that is so unforgiving – if not caught earlier on!

     

    18Dec, 2018
    Single parenthood and dating


    Dating in this century is hard and it gets harder when it comes to single parents.     When dating a single parent, he/she isn’t the only one in the equation, it solely expands to the children too. Quite hard you say ? This means a lot  needs to be improvised since there is a third-party who equally needs the attention from you both.No sane parent would ever compromise on the happiness of their children, with this said, it then requires an equal participation of the children. They mean the world to their parents and no one would love to age lonely and grappled,hence the need to find someone who is compatible with you, and also your children.

    There are a lot of challenges facing single parents when dating. Some issues such as finding someone who loves you and will love your child, time, feeling used, the dominant ex and children.

    Children   Suppose you find that single man, and has children.  It’s quite a jackpot, right? Problems set in when those children retaliate against you! They want only their mother to be there for the dad. You can’t fight someones child for love, in the long run, you will lose that battle. This doesn’t  mean that all children from single parents are inclined to their other parent, but it happens!

    Another issue on children, is dating someone who doesn’t like your kids! Who does that?  Why would anyone try date a single parent and not love his/her kids ? Are they normal ? And will this single parent be normal accepting such a person in their lives ? What if he/she marries you ? Do you know the amount of torture you would have subjected your kids to ? Parents and those in question should extensively think ahead when it reaches to this point.

    Take time to also introduce your children to the persons you date, gradually.  Not every Tom, Lewis and Mary should meet your kids. Be choosy, its good for you and your children. Least the child gets  attached to a person then you end up breaking up. What comes to mind is, how well will one explain to a child why so and so left and will never come back ? Spare some agony to the Children!

    Time

    Time is everything when it comes to dating. For a single parent, is literally VERY important! One  has to manage their career, children and also his/her date. It spells out that the single parent should at least lay out a timetable for smooth-running of activities, Children should come first ! Get someone who understands that you can’t just pop out for a coffee dates  out of the blues, can’t always appear at date nights all weekend nor even do sleep-overs at whichever house. Adults are best suited to understand but not children. They need you more than that date and it highly commendable that the person you date is sympathetic enough to know your struggles.

    The ex

    An ex refers to the previous baby daddy or baby mamma / the other parent. Here, you might find that ex who has completely refused to let go,  and in most cases use the kids to fight their battles. Disgruntled ex are a pain in the a**! There are so many single parents who haven’t rode on the idea of dating solely because, they need peace . Drama brought by these exes is something painful, so they choose to remain single. The Psycho text messages to the current boy/girlfriend, setting up thugs to rough one up, poisoning the children against one, popping by the ex’s home without invitation (…leave alone those who stay at their exes house, haahaa) are just a list of the unpleasant things an ex could do!

    FEELING USED

    In so many scenarios, most single parents often feel used by their counterparts when the relationship  is on or doesn’t work. Many people assume that these single parents are so desperate to find love. So, they tend to take in everything that avails themselves ! It’s a sad state of affairs. Here is an example of a single mother, she meets a man… This man comes to live off her. In her house, doesn’t pay bills nor partake in anything ! Aren’t relationships supposed to be 50-50? What you dish out is whats expected in return, if not, have a run for the hills!!!

    Not forgetting those single parents who will use you as a replacement dad/mom and expect you to fully cater for their needs. Heck, you are not yet married. Only expect 100% participation when fully committed. It’s not bad to help but at least do it in moderation or do it out of  passion. Otherwise, you might be dumped and the ideal man/woman will be married within a week. Disclaimer, not all single parents do this.

    If anyone needs their houses, clothes cleaned, seek services from professionals, the person you date isn’t your house assistant…. this goes out to single but not with children.

    These are just but a few the dating world offers to single parents. It’s good to find love but one question that needs to linger on your mind is, “Is this good for me, my children and the other person ? ” Don’t try to impress one person at the expense of the other. There are awesome people who you are yet to meet/or met. Some, if it doesn’t work let go. No one died from being single. You have a whole life ahead of you, and children to mind. What should be yours will undisputed be yours. TAKE TIME AND EVALUATE WHAT PRESENTS ITSELF TO YOU.

    9Dec, 2018
    Corporate Mothers

    The modern day mothers are the pillars of this world, heck….I’m not discrediting our own mothers, who took it upon themselves, to raise us.

    With the advent changes in today’s world, We see women struggling to climb up the corporate ladder and balancing it with being superb home makers! Pretty intense,right?

    A woman has to juggle between her 8-5 job, head home to make sure everything is up and running . To those jiggly young children, the ever bubbly toddler and her handsome “mature” baby, the husband!. Its pretty hard, even if its cheap to get a house help in Africa. Sometimes, they don’t really work out!

    Back to the career scene, a woman, who stays out of employment for 2 or so years, wont get past that Interview committee without raising eyebrows, and explaining where she was. No one understands that, having children and staying behind to raise them is also a full-term Job. Shouldn’t we also include it in our resumes?

    Head over to homes where the woman is the sole bread winner of a family. All bills on her, hungry mouths yawning at her. How well can she deal with this issue? Resign from work? Start self employment? Grapple with the effects of overworking oneself to provide better? Answer is No, she has no options but suck it all up and act as that lioness she is! Brave up and do what a woman has to do.

    The modern woman has so much burden. I know each and every one out here has encountered some challenges as a woman. You have to prosper in your corporate field, you also need to raise your children. Does it stop? Affirmative No! They both have to work concurrently.

    Despite these, all you can see is that ever smiling mother, she doesn’t complain about how hard life is, trying to balance her life, her children,work and also with able men (carrier-wise).

    Working mothers should at least be pardoned. Raising children is a hard task, a huge responsibility . To the HR-M’s, be lenient , that work experience gap has a reason! Lets keep the fire burning,take it easy!