Contraceptives and Marriage
Having done rounds, it has been realized family planning is highly unlikely to be used between couples of African descent. Sometimes, it’s referred as taboo to even bring such a topic up for discussion. Most men in an African setting, leave contraception to be a woman’s “thing” . Even before marriage, the number of children might not be discussed . However, women take it upon themselves, using contraceptives to Family plan.
Jackie*, had barely finished her masters studies soon after she got married to her high school sweet-heart, Tom*. To her, it was important to put things straight, however to Tom*, it never made any sense. Like, who wouldn’t want to have children immediately ? She had no alternative other than decide to use contraceptives behind his back. She knew how straining it could be, having a child, studying and trying to maintain her newly founded marriage. In this era, you can’t 100% rely on caregivers to give their best …… so she had to do it secretly. Tom*, on the other hand is reluctant to use men’s contraceptives, because its unmanly to him and no one he knows does it.
We also can see, some religious faiths e.g Catholics and Islam are totally against the use of contraceptives. The Bible, confirms that the Good Lord said to Noah and his sons, Genesis 9:1 “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth“. No specific number was mentioned, nor how it should be done. However, with the current change of lifestyle, and the cost of living is high, family planning and use of contraceptives should be maintained.
Kanya*, a prominent businessman, wasn’t for the idea of having children. Along the way he met Lynn* who wanted children. They were to have only one child, afterwards, Kanya* would go for a vasectomy. Something not many men want. Kanya* himself, comes from a very large family……..
As a result of the changes in recent trends, few men are actually coming out of the cocoons and accepting to attend mother-child conferences. These conferences enlighten men on their active roles when it comes contraception in marriages. The current economy doesn’t allow anyone to carelessly bring-forth innocent babies to these hard times, not forgetting about the health of both the mother and child in question.
Mariah, felt it is necessary to find yourself a man/woman who will embrace the idea of incorporating family planning as an important factor in marriage. Her husband, completely agrees to it and is among the best. Maria’s husband saw the adverse effects of the hormonal contraceptives she was taking, and took it upon himself to be the one using them instead. With that, both him and his wife are happy. He even wishes that many men would take that route he took. At the moment, they have two children and planning on getting another in two year’s time.
Contraception should be taken seriously in marriages. One needs to weigh the available types of contraceptives, and what works for/against them. A partner should be highly involved because your futures matter. Understanding the anatomy of your partner is a bonus as you crop up to do the best for both of you.
Personally, i advocate its use, moreover in marriages albeit the many challenges it comes with. It’s better to discuss this contraception issue before one settles down.
What are your views about this topic ? Kindly share below.
In Kenya paying school fees remains to be the number one method of family planning among the middle class followed by the above mentioned.
But in general more and more young families are adopting to family planning due to the difficult economic times.
Hahaa, i just had to laugh. Your sentiments are true!