Relationships Archives - Ivakale Consulting

25Feb, 2021

In our waiting…God is working

In our waiting, the good Lord works on our cases. More often than not, we fall short of God’s Glory……
Knowing that it has taken me long to come back here; I’m alive and well.

Many having fought off thoughts of God not being present in our lives during this Pandemic, trust me, He’s been faithful. Listen
Contemplating how much we’ve lost and gained within this past year, testimonies have been made, His grace follows us all the days of our lives.
Tribulations ready to kick us off our radar, but His might and prayers keeps us strong. Definitely, nothing can go terribly wrong with God on our side!
Exclusively praying for God to reprieve us from the hurt, disappointment and generally, urge for His immense Love. However, as the Bible notes ; Habakkuk 2:3

“For the vision is yet for the appointed time;

In our waiting, Keep praying

It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay.”

In His given time, all things eventually fall into place. No amount of force, human/ environmental interferences will stop God’s will from happening. His Mercies shall be part of you, and your blessings will be unfathomable – beyond human comprehension.
We tend to give up, but His promises assures us, someday, in His appointed time, He will work on our cases. At the moment, it’s prudent to keep up faith, and pray for Patience, Peace and Self Control….

Psalm 23:4 Listen More…

I concur year 2020 wasn’t the best for some, however, as we progress with this newer year, changes have been felt. Despite all the negativity the past year had, we came out strong and determined to make it better, of course with God’s intervention. Look up and praise God … because In our waiting, the Lord works on our cases.

Tumepewa Nguvu, Mamlaka na Uwezo

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3Jul, 2020

IT’S OKAY, NOT TO BE OK

In today’s society, we tend to feel caged by what others think about us. The fear grappled inside us, “What will people say ?” ….. It is okay not to be okay !

At the moment, with Covid-19 disrupting many livelihoods. Many people have lost it. With no one to turn to, we’ve shelved ourselves in grief , not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Times are hard indeed, to almost everyone. Lost jobs, lost loved ones , lost sanity ….. we need each other more.

With the current situation, it even thrice as hard to get employment. Many companies are downsizing, most positions declared redundant, some sent on forced unpaid leaves…. Life has become unbearable. Pleas of seeking help from peers, remain unanswered. People are trying to deal with this issue in “their own ways “. Families have been broken, rendered homeless. Starvation is the new normal, or healthy eating with a fancy name – OMAD .

It’s quite unusual to have thought, your life is safe, but in the long run, hit with the reality, It’s never safe for Anyone.

Its Ok, not to be okay. — **Hope, Despair… It’s okay not to be ok.**

Some will talk of savings. How can you save, yet you don’t even have enough for yourself ? Isn’t this insensitive ? We actually don’t know what depths people have gone through, to at least set something on the table !

Recently, a woman lost her job, she went ahead and strangled four of her children. It’s the panic of not knowing what else to do, fear of the unknown, aided by depression . A very sad occurrence… I lost sleep.

When will all these stop ? Who else will die ? For things to change in this society ?

With cessation of movement, you have to do what you ought to. Crime rates have increased. It’s a man eat man society. We’ve been reduced to beggars.

It is okay, not to be ok.

Once, i was asked, why i no longer write. I’m not okay. I haven’t had the motivation i once had. That’s it. Zeal, It’s is okay, that am not okay ……

People are dealing with issues, way beyond their might. Struggling to stay afloat, piling hope against Hope.

What now ?

Listen more to people. Help where you can. Be that support they direly need. It will come a long way. Judge less, be loving and accommodative. The virus is here with us, and before we go back to our normal lives… it will never be the same again.

PSALMS 9:18

JOB 11: 17-19

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25Nov, 2019

Life Mid Update

27Jun, 2019

Of widows and Orphans

23May, 2019

Cats are amazing pets.

Cats are amazing pets and these little loves fill our lives with joy. Do you have a pet ? What would you consider when trying to adopt one ? Do you actually know that being a pet owner is one of the marvelous deeds in this world ? Their cute faces, just mesmerizes our souls.

Cats

For the longest time in my life, i have loved cats. My first cat, Ringo …… i adopted him as a kitten. Everyone loved Ringo ……. neighbors too. He was charming, potty trained and loving. Its like he cancelled all the stresses of life ahhhh….. Unfortunately one day, he never came back. Someone catnapped my fur baby.

Then came along Blackie, he had a different personality……..

Welcoming these fur babies into our furmilies can be the best decision ever for any ”hooman” to make.

The warm cuddles, the fun and games, them judging everything you do, isn’t that cute ? Having one will definitely mean, you got to work harder than before. Wake up in the middle of the night just to feed them their snacks, hiding your legs under the blanket from sudden “cattacks”, lol ……….they just pounce on your feet, unbothered and unannounced.

Long ago, having a cat was solely meant for chasing away rats, mice and snakes. Most cats never took trips to see vets. Nowadays, that has entirely changed. Being a responsible owner, it requires you to ensure that your fur baby is well taken care of. You should be up to date with their immunizations, checkups and also neutering/spaying them in order to contain the population of strays.

Some few months ago, i came across a wonderful group on Facebook Cat Lovers Kenya . Being a member there is rejuvenating. I just don’t know what goes on my mind when i go through the posts made by wonderful Purrents.

The fur babies have a way of helping one overcome trauma, depression…..

You converse with them as you would to your fellow human. Someone might label you as that crazy cat person, but hey, who cares ?

For me, i can gladly say that … if i had another chance, i would be having a dozen of cats at my place, save for the severe allergic reactions….. Sad!

Lastly, its a shame that we have people out here, who breed them. Has it occurred to you that there are so many cats who need homes ? Why breed/buy when you can adopt ? What happens next ? Same as those who adopt and later on, dump these wonderful babies, why would you do that ? Before adopting, kindly search your soul first.

Honestly, i do not know what to say but …….. Seeing those cats and their escapades makes my day brighter.

Have a look at these wonderful pictures, shared from the group Cat Lovers Kenya . Enjoy

Arent they beautiful — Bugsie is shocked …..

Fur babies — Clean up time ….. oops cover my lid

4May, 2019

My comeback was through grief ……..

Grief ? How well can a person cope with grief ?

I had taken a break from this site, citing “finding my purpose” and “direction”. Each day I kept on postponing writing the contents I had in mind.

Right now, I am a skull of what I was. Empty inside, emotionally deprived. I just don’t know how to cope with the pain, not physical pain but emotional pain.

Having prayed for a miracle, change in life. Little did I know that the miracle I was praying for was coming to snatch away my mentor, my Mother!

I try to tell myself, she is in a better place at the moment, but no…. that was untimely. She had promised to come and “Rest” as soon as the planting season was complete. Complaining that the rains had delayed. Oh mom, was this a goodbye ?

The day you were laid to rest, the heavens opened. It poured, never stopped!

Our pillar has completely been destroyed. No one can replace you.

You were unique in your own ways. You have done so much for us.

Always fought to see us succeed and earnestly prayed for us your children, to make it in life.

No one expected this to hit us, the shock, the anguish…… emptiness that filled our hearts.

All we have are now memoirs of what you used to be.

My nights are never the same, nor my days. I try to be strong but, how well can one cope with grief ?

You gave us the best. Fell from side to side to see us stand firm. Your legacy still stands still. Shosh to everyone.

The giver, everyone’s friend, the patient one, peace maker, the counselor, a mother, Shosh …… the

greatest Teacher, ever.

Even during your last days, you hid the pain. Kept talking as normal. Drank your favorite “cold” soda. Slept, and off you went.

Loosing a parent, is one of the worst things to ever happen.

You always did pray to never bury any of your children. God heard you, we were the ones that had to bury you, Mom.

I did not know, my comeback here will have to do with your death.

To me, you rested too early. You could have waited a bit longer. The doors were opening wider. Greatness was soon happening.

This pain is unexplained.

We now have to celebrate your life, your sacrifices and legacy, I promise will live on.

Rest in Peace Mom.

Watch over us, your children. I miss you, we miss you.

Now that you are closer to God, your prayers are directly conveyed.

Help us get through this.

5Mar, 2019

Love in African Homes

What is Love ? And how do we show it towards one another ? How is the state of love in African homes ? I speak as an African child ….. when we choose love, we always choose right. We may choose love or maybe something else. The best relationship is to love oneself first, then spread love to others. This is the greatest gift of all.. and we came into this world to show love. Love is life!

Consider the life you have lived by now, is there anybody who can attest that indeed you loved them or loved you ?

Reminiscence

Growing up, basically, I didn’t know what love meant. African parents had their own way of showing love. Never had I seen my own folks hold hands, nor profess the “love” they had for each other. Not even I to my siblings. On my daily routine of scavenging for motivation, I came across a young lady talking about love in African families. It then hit me.

I would say, it was an eye opener for me, because this is something that indeed happens in most African families. Only a few got to see Love at first hand…. I might assume that maybe it was taboo to tell your husband ” I love you “, “I miss you”, ” honey am home ” — this line reminds me of a vintage cartoon I used to watch as a child, ‘The Dinosaurs’. Were we disadvantaged ? Mhh no, life used to run, nonetheless. Sometimes I think if it was shown, maybe things could have been a bit different.

See ?

Many will conform with this. In an African home, love meant your dad coming home with sweets and make you line up. Without uttering a single word, gives each one of you some. Silence fills the room, woe unto you if you didn’t say “thank you”. Hell would break loose.

Our mom’s coming with different outfits from the market, calls you out one by one ….” John, take this …. I think it will fit you ” and that is how life used to be. Vividly, the only one time the word love would roam the house is when one of your aunties visited. You’d hear how your parents say how much they loved you and you are the reason why they have to put up with crappy working conditions to see you through.

Then here comes punishment time. It’s so captivating to see today’s children have a timeout. Timeout, indeed is a treasure. I remember being canned by my grandma ….. and she kept yelling at me how I’m being canned because she loved me. Wipe out that evil grin, yes am among those kids who got flogged by their grandparents. Sometimes I thought old people weren’t capable of such strength. Hah aha , it was fire!

Love, was also shown by you being sent to school to get an education. An African parent would sell his lands, livestock, trees, maize to see you through school. Sometimes, even the most prized possession would find itself at a money lender’s shop. The wealthy ones could see to it, their kids went to the best of schools. Best of the best, without compromise.

The kind of love that would make you and your siblings, wait at the gate for the return of your mother. Knowing she has to come with goodies from that event she went to. They always carried these bags with them. Sometimes, if she were home, she would give you three minutes to find your flops, so that you can accompany her to the evening women’s meetings. I loved this.

What now ?

The shadows of the environment we grew up in, still follows some of us around. I try as much to remind my little one of my love, each day. Love needs to be expressed and it does bring a difference in someone’s life. The past, somehow has a hand in how we handle issues now. Men, inherited what they saw from their fathers, and women do what their mothers did. The modern African family is trying. It may seem hard to outlive what we went through as children. Love is precious and should be shown to people we love, or ones we encounter. The scars from the past can be quite hard to erase, but making a little difference and letting our kids know. Yes, we went through that and here we are, making changes, Positive changes.

How we express love is determinant of what we saw, learning from our predecessors. However, love is life, and by that …. times did evolve and we learnt to love ourselves first. Learning that made us love others, so easy to achieve it and spread the gospel. Weirder as our childhood was, at least lets not relive the past. It’s okay to kiss your partner/children, hold hands and remind them each day, that you love them immensely. This will solve the many problems we have in the world today ! If we raise a nation full of love.

How was it shown in your home ? What difference are you making today ? Contact us on [mail_crypt mail=”info@ivakale.consulting” text=Ivakale.Consulting” js=”true”] or through http://ivakale.consulting/contact/

24Feb, 2019

Who makes the rules of life?

Aha, what is life and who makes the rules of life? I certainly have no idea …… Expecting less and living it a day as it comes.

Long ago, young and naive … i couldn’t wait till i get to 18. It came, nothing exciting happened! As a child, i thought, oh well, this is it. I had thought that was the epitome of life. Heck, was i wrong ? I am still lost and no, i can’t request for a rewind but focus on the uncertainties of tomorrow. I would laugh hysterically how well i planned for my life, back then. Get married by 25, have the number of kids i wanted by 30, have that best career ever and live happily ever after. Life is a mystery! I am laughing hard right now. Lets just say, never plan for things you have no control over! I know i am not alone in this, yes you! You had plans too. Don’t look away, i know its true.

Is there a life manual ? If there was, i would have been the first person to get hold of it. I fear disappointments, failures name it. I love to see positive flow of life, but well who has the rules of life? No human does.

Wandering into the thoughts of unending questions

A set of rules saying, you must clear schooling by age 24 ? Who said that ? What if one had no resources to see them through school after attaining that age ?

Marry a “tall, dark and handsome” hah aha …. Cinderella type of thoughts ? Let’s say, i once was lost but now am found. I hate walking behind tall men…… especially those who walk like they own the whole pavement ? Tall …. men, you lost me just like that!

Who set the rule that once you start something you Must finish it off? Anything that spurs negativity is not worth the fight. Holding on to the rope will eventually dent you…..

Mystery…….

Mysterious ? Talk of domestic violence…. merry reception, people were happy, you were happy but before settling in your brain that, indeed marriage happened ….. Violence! Are there rules to persevere ? Who said so ? Myself, i have no idea. Do you.

I have so many unanswered questions about life. Who set the rule that a certain portion of people have to suffer in order to survive ? Why does it have to happen ? Why are some having it easy ? What did they do to make life easier for them? Was it the sacrifice of their fore-fathers or is it by sheer luck ? My heart bleeds when i see hungry children all over, and there are some with plenty to eat and maybe, waste. However, i blame no one. The science behind life is unimaginable. Just like in the jungle, only the strongest and wittiest survive…. Yes? No?

ARE WE ROBOTICS ?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash — Who set the rules of life ?

I may assume that we are robots. Made to follow certain commands, inbuilt. We certainly have no control over how our life turns out to be, but have the capacity to steer things into the right direction. Steer into the right direction, by whose power ? It’s best not to worry about tomorrow…. and live like the birds of the sky, He says. How though?

Who set the rules that, today you have it…. tomorrow it’s gone, or vice versa ?Is this a fair game ? Who set the rules of this game ? Why does one have to tread carefully ? Why does it seem like one needs to pass through a sieve to make it ? Mysterious life it is, make it easier for people. The uncertainties you bring, can make one paranoid.

On my side, life has brought forth all the positives and need to say bit of negatives. I look forward to experience a new thing each day. Trying to make life pleasant by living on my own terms. If i was supernatural, i would change some aspects of it. Just a bit of shine here, there…. wallah… Perfect! My life is my responsibility, however much the mysteries it bring about.

Life has that bitter-sweet type of relationship with everyone. Although, living it is a gift. What lingers on my mind is … who makes the rules? Procedural-like rules. One has to follow a certain routine? Does the society have a hand in this ? Yes? No? Can we blame someone when it doesn’t go well ? What are your thoughts on life?

Please share with us on [mail_crypt mail=”info@ivakale.consulting” text=”Ivakale.Consulting” js=”true”] or through our comment section.

13Feb, 2019

Valentine’s nigh

Love; a four letter word, simple to pronounce but yet hard to understand. 
When someone falls in love with someone or something they develop unfathomable passion towards the person or thing, it's an ecstatic feeling you may say.  It’s the month of love so they say and to be precise the week of Love simply because Valentine’s day is just around the corner.

Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate romance and love.
After doing a small background check i learnt some shocking revelations about the origin of Valentine’s Day.

How did this day come to be?

From Feb 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, and then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain. Sounds funny right? But the funniest part is that the women were naked and all the beating was in the name of making them fertile (well that’s what they believed). This is according to Noel Lenski, a historian at the University of Colorado in Boulder.
The ancient Romans may also be responsible for the name of our modern-day of Love. Emperor Claudius II executed two men both named Valentine on Feb 14, different years in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day.

Why celebrate this Day ?

Valentine’s is all about loved ones, young in love, newlyweds probably 3-4 years in marriage and those still in courtship among others. It’s all about being merry and getting surprise gifts. This is the time of the year when demand for flowers and chocolate shoots high and people in this line of business tend to make a fortune. Did you know that chocolate emits the same chemical into your body which is produced when you start falling in love? Now that’s reason enough to get your loved one a box of chocolates this Valentine’s.

Single men and women out here do not feel abandoned. Don’t even think of posting that photo with the tagline “Self-love”. It’s a cynical and desperate move.

Divorced, widows and widowers, who said YOU can’t celebrate Valentines? To me this a time we should show our love not only to the single most person you love but as well to others, the strangers, that street beggar on the corner of the street, the street urchins, that single mother with three kids who you always call during the weekends to come do your laundry ( i know most bachelors can relate to this).

It would be much better if we viewed Valentine’s differently. How i wish we would use this week to show our Love to the less fortunate, the under-privileged, those that have been through hell, those that feel like there’s nothing to live for in this world.

Sometimes it’s just important to be there for someone, you don’t have to say anything but your presence matters a lot. Makes them feel that they have a sense of belonging. That company only means a lot to someone.

For once let’s forget about our daily hassle, the political temperature in our country, the color of our skin, the tribe, the religion and culture and embrace each other with Love.

When was the last time you did something out of love? It’s the month of Love and it’s never too late. Let’s start with a simple act of changing our attitude. Let’s share the Love we have with others.

By Madiba Muyonga

What is your perception about Valentine’s Day ?

Please comment below or contact us at [mail_crypt mail=” info@ivakale.consulting” text=”Ivakale.Consulting” js=”true”] or [mail_crypt mail=” https://ivakale.consulting/contact ” text=”” js=”false”]

31Jan, 2019

Prayers

Prayer is a divine fulfillment of the mind and soul, a gateway to communicate to God Himself….. What makes life worth living ? God, Science ? Honestly, life is a mirage in itself. I believe in existence of The most High, God.

Why do human beings pray ? What time is appropriate ?

Prayer does happen anywhere,everywhere you wish to have one and People pray for spiritual nourishment.

Do prayers work ?

Yes, prayers work efficiently.

Does it specify who should pray ?

No, it doesn’t. Anyone can pray regardless of their religious status/Faith.

What is the difference between a religious person and a spiritual person ?

Religious persons are people who believes in religion/cultural, belief systems and worldviews that establishes symbols which relate humanity to spiritual and sometimes morality which are built on a spiritual foundation. The persons belong to a deity of their choice e.g Christianity, Islam, Buddhist etc
A spiritual person is someone who believes in something, however he/she doesn’t realize the science behind it. They believe in an existence of a higher Being

Why was i praying and my prayers were not answered ?

God has Three answers, YES, WAIT and No. Mathew 26:42.

Is it right to invoke the name of God ?

I always find myself doing it, Exodus 20:7 prohibits using His name in Vain. Blasphemy is prohibited and anyone who does so will be held accountable.

Prayers each day takes the baggage away…..

What are the types of prayers ?

We have these types of prayers, namely;

Thanksgiving prayers
Contrition prayers
Adoration prayers
Petition prayers
Spiritual war far prayers
Corporate prayer
Worship Prayers among others

Are we restricted to a particular number of prayers ?

No, you can pray as much as you’d like. Keep them short and precise.

Our faith, is being tested in our day-to-day living. We trust in God and confide in times of need, but do we ever stop and do the same when there is plenty ?

This is not a matter of being a Christian/ Muslim…. It’s irrespective of one’s Faith. I believe every human has that urge to talk to their thoughts, in confidence and in trust that their wishes and wants would come into reality.

Should we trust in Prayers?

Yes ! We are sometimes wired to hold on to what is not entirely ours. We cling on things that tend to exhaust our minds, bodies and soul.

As said earlier, a prayer has answers Yes, No, and Wait.

A yes means that whatever you asked for will be availed without waiting in Vain .

A no, is simply a no. No grants whatsoever. It sucks when a no comes as the definite answer, we need to let go. Even though it is hard. It is okay to feel extremely emotional when that one thing you ever wanted doesn’t get to you. Regardless of the prayers made. Trust and believe, it takes time but when your time comes, blissful.

Wait, in my perception, you are yet ready to receive His answer. God is still preparing you well to finally answer your prayers. Trust the process.

Sometimes, we feel dejected, lost, helpless and can’t have the capacity to change whatever we are going through at the moment. Prayer should be that greatest friend. The relief one feels after offloading a bucketful of prayers to God is awesome, you should try it. In thoughts, pray, anywhere pray. These words move mountains.

Have a read about prayers on these links below