Blog - Ivakale Consulting

25Feb, 2021

In our waiting…God is working

In our waiting, the good Lord works on our cases. More often than not, we fall short of God’s Glory……
Knowing that it has taken me long to come back here; I’m alive and well.

Many having fought off thoughts of God not being present in our lives during this Pandemic, trust me, He’s been faithful. Listen
Contemplating how much we’ve lost and gained within this past year, testimonies have been made, His grace follows us all the days of our lives.
Tribulations ready to kick us off our radar, but His might and prayers keeps us strong. Definitely, nothing can go terribly wrong with God on our side!
Exclusively praying for God to reprieve us from the hurt, disappointment and generally, urge for His immense Love. However, as the Bible notes ; Habakkuk 2:3

“For the vision is yet for the appointed time;

In our waiting, Keep praying

It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay.”

In His given time, all things eventually fall into place. No amount of force, human/ environmental interferences will stop God’s will from happening. His Mercies shall be part of you, and your blessings will be unfathomable – beyond human comprehension.
We tend to give up, but His promises assures us, someday, in His appointed time, He will work on our cases. At the moment, it’s prudent to keep up faith, and pray for Patience, Peace and Self Control….

Psalm 23:4 Listen More…

I concur year 2020 wasn’t the best for some, however, as we progress with this newer year, changes have been felt. Despite all the negativity the past year had, we came out strong and determined to make it better, of course with God’s intervention. Look up and praise God … because In our waiting, the Lord works on our cases.

Tumepewa Nguvu, Mamlaka na Uwezo

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3Jul, 2020

IT’S OKAY, NOT TO BE OK

In today’s society, we tend to feel caged by what others think about us. The fear grappled inside us, “What will people say ?” ….. It is okay not to be okay !

At the moment, with Covid-19 disrupting many livelihoods. Many people have lost it. With no one to turn to, we’ve shelved ourselves in grief , not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Times are hard indeed, to almost everyone. Lost jobs, lost loved ones , lost sanity ….. we need each other more.

With the current situation, it even thrice as hard to get employment. Many companies are downsizing, most positions declared redundant, some sent on forced unpaid leaves…. Life has become unbearable. Pleas of seeking help from peers, remain unanswered. People are trying to deal with this issue in “their own ways “. Families have been broken, rendered homeless. Starvation is the new normal, or healthy eating with a fancy name – OMAD .

It’s quite unusual to have thought, your life is safe, but in the long run, hit with the reality, It’s never safe for Anyone.

Its Ok, not to be okay. — **Hope, Despair… It’s okay not to be ok.**

Some will talk of savings. How can you save, yet you don’t even have enough for yourself ? Isn’t this insensitive ? We actually don’t know what depths people have gone through, to at least set something on the table !

Recently, a woman lost her job, she went ahead and strangled four of her children. It’s the panic of not knowing what else to do, fear of the unknown, aided by depression . A very sad occurrence… I lost sleep.

When will all these stop ? Who else will die ? For things to change in this society ?

With cessation of movement, you have to do what you ought to. Crime rates have increased. It’s a man eat man society. We’ve been reduced to beggars.

It is okay, not to be ok.

Once, i was asked, why i no longer write. I’m not okay. I haven’t had the motivation i once had. That’s it. Zeal, It’s is okay, that am not okay ……

People are dealing with issues, way beyond their might. Struggling to stay afloat, piling hope against Hope.

What now ?

Listen more to people. Help where you can. Be that support they direly need. It will come a long way. Judge less, be loving and accommodative. The virus is here with us, and before we go back to our normal lives… it will never be the same again.

PSALMS 9:18

JOB 11: 17-19

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Read More

25Nov, 2019

Life Mid Update

27Jun, 2019

Of widows and Orphans

11Jun, 2019

Contraceptives and Marriage

Contraceptives and marriage, these two are more unlikely, used in one liner sentence …. Ask why ?

Having done rounds, it has been realized family planning is highly unlikely to be used between couples of African descent. Sometimes, it’s referred as taboo to even bring such a topic up for discussion. Most men in an African setting, leave contraception to be a woman’s “thing” . Even before marriage, the number of children might not be discussed . However, women take it upon themselves, using contraceptives to Family plan.

Jackie*, had barely finished her masters studies soon after she got married to her high school sweet-heart, Tom*. To her, it was important to put things straight, however to Tom*, it never made any sense. Like, who wouldn’t want to have children immediately ? She had no alternative other than decide to use contraceptives behind his back. She knew how straining it could be, having a child, studying and trying to maintain her newly founded marriage. In this era, you can’t 100% rely on caregivers to give their best …… so she had to do it secretly. Tom*, on the other hand is reluctant to use men’s contraceptives, because its unmanly to him and no one he knows does it.

We also can see, some religious faiths e.g Catholics and Islam are totally against the use of contraceptives. The Bible, confirms that the Good Lord said to Noah and his sons, Genesis 9:1 “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth“. No specific number was mentioned, nor how it should be done. However, with the current change of lifestyle, and the cost of living is high, family planning and use of contraceptives should be maintained.

Kanya*, a prominent businessman, wasn’t for the idea of having children. Along the way he met Lynn* who wanted children. They were to have only one child, afterwards, Kanya* would go for a vasectomy. Something not many men want. Kanya* himself, comes from a very large family……..

As a result of the changes in recent trends, few men are actually coming out of the cocoons and accepting to attend mother-child conferences. These conferences enlighten men on their active roles when it comes contraception in marriages. The current economy doesn’t allow anyone to carelessly bring-forth innocent babies to these hard times, not forgetting about the health of both the mother and child in question.

Mariah, felt it is necessary to find yourself a man/woman who will embrace the idea of incorporating family planning as an important factor in marriage. Her husband, completely agrees to it and is among the best. Maria’s husband saw the adverse effects of the hormonal contraceptives she was taking, and took it upon himself to be the one using them instead. With that, both him and his wife are happy. He even wishes that many men would take that route he took. At the moment, they have two children and planning on getting another in two year’s time.

Contraception should be taken seriously in marriages. One needs to weigh the available types of contraceptives, and what works for/against them. A partner should be highly involved because your futures matter. Understanding the anatomy of your partner is a bonus as you crop up to do the best for both of you.

Personally, i advocate its use, moreover in marriages albeit the many challenges it comes with. It’s better to discuss this contraception issue before one settles down.

What are your views about this topic ? Kindly share below.

23May, 2019

Cats are amazing pets.

Cats are amazing pets and these little loves fill our lives with joy. Do you have a pet ? What would you consider when trying to adopt one ? Do you actually know that being a pet owner is one of the marvelous deeds in this world ? Their cute faces, just mesmerizes our souls.

Cats

For the longest time in my life, i have loved cats. My first cat, Ringo …… i adopted him as a kitten. Everyone loved Ringo ……. neighbors too. He was charming, potty trained and loving. Its like he cancelled all the stresses of life ahhhh….. Unfortunately one day, he never came back. Someone catnapped my fur baby.

Then came along Blackie, he had a different personality……..

Welcoming these fur babies into our furmilies can be the best decision ever for any ”hooman” to make.

The warm cuddles, the fun and games, them judging everything you do, isn’t that cute ? Having one will definitely mean, you got to work harder than before. Wake up in the middle of the night just to feed them their snacks, hiding your legs under the blanket from sudden “cattacks”, lol ……….they just pounce on your feet, unbothered and unannounced.

Long ago, having a cat was solely meant for chasing away rats, mice and snakes. Most cats never took trips to see vets. Nowadays, that has entirely changed. Being a responsible owner, it requires you to ensure that your fur baby is well taken care of. You should be up to date with their immunizations, checkups and also neutering/spaying them in order to contain the population of strays.

Some few months ago, i came across a wonderful group on Facebook Cat Lovers Kenya . Being a member there is rejuvenating. I just don’t know what goes on my mind when i go through the posts made by wonderful Purrents.

The fur babies have a way of helping one overcome trauma, depression…..

You converse with them as you would to your fellow human. Someone might label you as that crazy cat person, but hey, who cares ?

For me, i can gladly say that … if i had another chance, i would be having a dozen of cats at my place, save for the severe allergic reactions….. Sad!

Lastly, its a shame that we have people out here, who breed them. Has it occurred to you that there are so many cats who need homes ? Why breed/buy when you can adopt ? What happens next ? Same as those who adopt and later on, dump these wonderful babies, why would you do that ? Before adopting, kindly search your soul first.

Honestly, i do not know what to say but …….. Seeing those cats and their escapades makes my day brighter.

Have a look at these wonderful pictures, shared from the group Cat Lovers Kenya . Enjoy

Arent they beautiful — Bugsie is shocked …..

Fur babies — Clean up time ….. oops cover my lid

4May, 2019

My comeback was through grief ……..

Grief ? How well can a person cope with grief ?

I had taken a break from this site, citing “finding my purpose” and “direction”. Each day I kept on postponing writing the contents I had in mind.

Right now, I am a skull of what I was. Empty inside, emotionally deprived. I just don’t know how to cope with the pain, not physical pain but emotional pain.

Having prayed for a miracle, change in life. Little did I know that the miracle I was praying for was coming to snatch away my mentor, my Mother!

I try to tell myself, she is in a better place at the moment, but no…. that was untimely. She had promised to come and “Rest” as soon as the planting season was complete. Complaining that the rains had delayed. Oh mom, was this a goodbye ?

The day you were laid to rest, the heavens opened. It poured, never stopped!

Our pillar has completely been destroyed. No one can replace you.

You were unique in your own ways. You have done so much for us.

Always fought to see us succeed and earnestly prayed for us your children, to make it in life.

No one expected this to hit us, the shock, the anguish…… emptiness that filled our hearts.

All we have are now memoirs of what you used to be.

My nights are never the same, nor my days. I try to be strong but, how well can one cope with grief ?

You gave us the best. Fell from side to side to see us stand firm. Your legacy still stands still. Shosh to everyone.

The giver, everyone’s friend, the patient one, peace maker, the counselor, a mother, Shosh …… the

greatest Teacher, ever.

Even during your last days, you hid the pain. Kept talking as normal. Drank your favorite “cold” soda. Slept, and off you went.

Loosing a parent, is one of the worst things to ever happen.

You always did pray to never bury any of your children. God heard you, we were the ones that had to bury you, Mom.

I did not know, my comeback here will have to do with your death.

To me, you rested too early. You could have waited a bit longer. The doors were opening wider. Greatness was soon happening.

This pain is unexplained.

We now have to celebrate your life, your sacrifices and legacy, I promise will live on.

Rest in Peace Mom.

Watch over us, your children. I miss you, we miss you.

Now that you are closer to God, your prayers are directly conveyed.

Help us get through this.

23Mar, 2019

My letter to you, a broken soul.

Hey you ? How are you doing ? Good i suppose ? I hope so.

I can see sadness through your eyes, the despair and you are on the verge of giving up; ending it all at once.

Hey, wait a minute! Do not do it. It’s too soon to give up. Explore your full potential. There is always a second, third, many chances towards life.

I know you don’t deserve all these happening to you. No one does. You didn’t sign up for that, I know you didn’t.

I do know you are tired of endless sleepless nights. Waking up each night, tired, defeated. You worry too much about what happens next in life. You seem stuck, confused and helpless. Just hold on. Hold on my dearest. Do not despair.

They cheated on you ? I know you gave your all. Do you know that, they didn’t deserve you! You are better, a winner, a conqueror. Someone is coming just for you. To wipe all those tears you shed for the wrong people. Hold on just yet.

Hey you, I know you hate your job. Your employer sees no good in you. What did we say about toxic work places ? Let your hard work steer you into a better conducive workplace. Favors will be bestowed upon you. Trust me.

They left you and moved in with the other person ? Hey, I know its painful. The children asking about the whereabouts of the other parent. Your mind is blank, bitter and angry. They get sick, all on you. I know it hurts. Although, all is well….. do not do it! Those children need you more. Just look into their innocent eyes, whom do you see ? A reflection of you. They look up to you. Remain sane. Hold on just yet. Their laughter, your medicine.

Tired of crying all night ? Tears are good you know ? They relieve the pain. It is entirely right to cry. Cry, soak your pillows in tears, when done, wipe them away. Look forward, work towards your goals.

Your rent is due ? You have nowhere else to go ? I know the hurt you are feeling right now. Things will eventually work out. I assure you. Have the hope, and faithfully, your troubles will be solved.

Hey, you were betrayed ? Please, that person isn’t worth your life. Growth equates loosing and shedding off some people, from our lives. Clinging onto negative people will block you from attaining your dreams. Their negativity acts as a magnet that pulls you away from prosperity.

Lost your cherished job? Wait, it wasn’t your fault. I know the current job market aren’t as promising, but hey…. something worthwhile is coming your way. Hold on, just yet. Do not do it.

Hey you ? No school fees ? Worry not. It is well. Something is cooking, somewhere, for you. It is not worth taking your life. We have had successful people, who made it, and later went to complete the studies that had stalled. At one point in their lives.

I know, you waited for your bundle of joy…. 9 months, cravings, nausea. Now you have nothing to show for it. Do you know that you were chosen ? Chosen to have these little angels at that time of their lives ? Lucky, you are. You are the best, don’t despair. It hurts, but be strong for the angel you just lost. They need you here. To tell the story. Another blessing is coming, be prepared.

Hey you, in this life, each individual has a battle they fight. We get to a point of giving up. Suicidal thoughts engulf our minds. Look at the person next to you. Behind that smile, is a lot of struggles. They aren’t giving up yet.

Hey, I know it is hard to find someone who will listen to you. However, we have heaven-sent humans. Who will give you a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear.

The fight is still on. Do not do it.

Hey, don’t let your family, friends and children down. Your presence means a lot to them, and me. Suicide might be the easy way out, but no!

The longest route bears fruits,eventually. Things are just being slowly brewed, to maturity…. just for you.

Do not give up just yet. Hold on. You aren’t alone. There are a whole lot of us here.

Suicide is not the ultimate answer.

From me to you, a broken soul.

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5Mar, 2019

Love in African Homes

What is Love ? And how do we show it towards one another ? How is the state of love in African homes ? I speak as an African child ….. when we choose love, we always choose right. We may choose love or maybe something else. The best relationship is to love oneself first, then spread love to others. This is the greatest gift of all.. and we came into this world to show love. Love is life!

Consider the life you have lived by now, is there anybody who can attest that indeed you loved them or loved you ?

Reminiscence

Growing up, basically, I didn’t know what love meant. African parents had their own way of showing love. Never had I seen my own folks hold hands, nor profess the “love” they had for each other. Not even I to my siblings. On my daily routine of scavenging for motivation, I came across a young lady talking about love in African families. It then hit me.

I would say, it was an eye opener for me, because this is something that indeed happens in most African families. Only a few got to see Love at first hand…. I might assume that maybe it was taboo to tell your husband ” I love you “, “I miss you”, ” honey am home ” — this line reminds me of a vintage cartoon I used to watch as a child, ‘The Dinosaurs’. Were we disadvantaged ? Mhh no, life used to run, nonetheless. Sometimes I think if it was shown, maybe things could have been a bit different.

See ?

Many will conform with this. In an African home, love meant your dad coming home with sweets and make you line up. Without uttering a single word, gives each one of you some. Silence fills the room, woe unto you if you didn’t say “thank you”. Hell would break loose.

Our mom’s coming with different outfits from the market, calls you out one by one ….” John, take this …. I think it will fit you ” and that is how life used to be. Vividly, the only one time the word love would roam the house is when one of your aunties visited. You’d hear how your parents say how much they loved you and you are the reason why they have to put up with crappy working conditions to see you through.

Then here comes punishment time. It’s so captivating to see today’s children have a timeout. Timeout, indeed is a treasure. I remember being canned by my grandma ….. and she kept yelling at me how I’m being canned because she loved me. Wipe out that evil grin, yes am among those kids who got flogged by their grandparents. Sometimes I thought old people weren’t capable of such strength. Hah aha , it was fire!

Love, was also shown by you being sent to school to get an education. An African parent would sell his lands, livestock, trees, maize to see you through school. Sometimes, even the most prized possession would find itself at a money lender’s shop. The wealthy ones could see to it, their kids went to the best of schools. Best of the best, without compromise.

The kind of love that would make you and your siblings, wait at the gate for the return of your mother. Knowing she has to come with goodies from that event she went to. They always carried these bags with them. Sometimes, if she were home, she would give you three minutes to find your flops, so that you can accompany her to the evening women’s meetings. I loved this.

What now ?

The shadows of the environment we grew up in, still follows some of us around. I try as much to remind my little one of my love, each day. Love needs to be expressed and it does bring a difference in someone’s life. The past, somehow has a hand in how we handle issues now. Men, inherited what they saw from their fathers, and women do what their mothers did. The modern African family is trying. It may seem hard to outlive what we went through as children. Love is precious and should be shown to people we love, or ones we encounter. The scars from the past can be quite hard to erase, but making a little difference and letting our kids know. Yes, we went through that and here we are, making changes, Positive changes.

How we express love is determinant of what we saw, learning from our predecessors. However, love is life, and by that …. times did evolve and we learnt to love ourselves first. Learning that made us love others, so easy to achieve it and spread the gospel. Weirder as our childhood was, at least lets not relive the past. It’s okay to kiss your partner/children, hold hands and remind them each day, that you love them immensely. This will solve the many problems we have in the world today ! If we raise a nation full of love.

How was it shown in your home ? What difference are you making today ? Contact us on [mail_crypt mail=”info@ivakale.consulting” text=Ivakale.Consulting” js=”true”] or through http://ivakale.consulting/contact/

24Feb, 2019

Who makes the rules of life?

Aha, what is life and who makes the rules of life? I certainly have no idea …… Expecting less and living it a day as it comes.

Long ago, young and naive … i couldn’t wait till i get to 18. It came, nothing exciting happened! As a child, i thought, oh well, this is it. I had thought that was the epitome of life. Heck, was i wrong ? I am still lost and no, i can’t request for a rewind but focus on the uncertainties of tomorrow. I would laugh hysterically how well i planned for my life, back then. Get married by 25, have the number of kids i wanted by 30, have that best career ever and live happily ever after. Life is a mystery! I am laughing hard right now. Lets just say, never plan for things you have no control over! I know i am not alone in this, yes you! You had plans too. Don’t look away, i know its true.

Is there a life manual ? If there was, i would have been the first person to get hold of it. I fear disappointments, failures name it. I love to see positive flow of life, but well who has the rules of life? No human does.

Wandering into the thoughts of unending questions

A set of rules saying, you must clear schooling by age 24 ? Who said that ? What if one had no resources to see them through school after attaining that age ?

Marry a “tall, dark and handsome” hah aha …. Cinderella type of thoughts ? Let’s say, i once was lost but now am found. I hate walking behind tall men…… especially those who walk like they own the whole pavement ? Tall …. men, you lost me just like that!

Who set the rule that once you start something you Must finish it off? Anything that spurs negativity is not worth the fight. Holding on to the rope will eventually dent you…..

Mystery…….

Mysterious ? Talk of domestic violence…. merry reception, people were happy, you were happy but before settling in your brain that, indeed marriage happened ….. Violence! Are there rules to persevere ? Who said so ? Myself, i have no idea. Do you.

I have so many unanswered questions about life. Who set the rule that a certain portion of people have to suffer in order to survive ? Why does it have to happen ? Why are some having it easy ? What did they do to make life easier for them? Was it the sacrifice of their fore-fathers or is it by sheer luck ? My heart bleeds when i see hungry children all over, and there are some with plenty to eat and maybe, waste. However, i blame no one. The science behind life is unimaginable. Just like in the jungle, only the strongest and wittiest survive…. Yes? No?

ARE WE ROBOTICS ?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash — Who set the rules of life ?

I may assume that we are robots. Made to follow certain commands, inbuilt. We certainly have no control over how our life turns out to be, but have the capacity to steer things into the right direction. Steer into the right direction, by whose power ? It’s best not to worry about tomorrow…. and live like the birds of the sky, He says. How though?

Who set the rules that, today you have it…. tomorrow it’s gone, or vice versa ?Is this a fair game ? Who set the rules of this game ? Why does one have to tread carefully ? Why does it seem like one needs to pass through a sieve to make it ? Mysterious life it is, make it easier for people. The uncertainties you bring, can make one paranoid.

On my side, life has brought forth all the positives and need to say bit of negatives. I look forward to experience a new thing each day. Trying to make life pleasant by living on my own terms. If i was supernatural, i would change some aspects of it. Just a bit of shine here, there…. wallah… Perfect! My life is my responsibility, however much the mysteries it bring about.

Life has that bitter-sweet type of relationship with everyone. Although, living it is a gift. What lingers on my mind is … who makes the rules? Procedural-like rules. One has to follow a certain routine? Does the society have a hand in this ? Yes? No? Can we blame someone when it doesn’t go well ? What are your thoughts on life?

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